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♥ 33 things

Tuesday, February 23, 2010 @ 6:52 PM

so i read some other peoples 33 things, and i thought it wouldnt hurt to do another 33 things for me. but it'll probably be less than 33 because like sisi, i dont know so many people hahah. also, a lot of things are metaphorical and kinda sound weird.

1. i hate you. i wish you can go crawl in a hole and die, but you cant do that and i cant wish that. i tell you, there's no use, you have to be yourself. maybe you know your own ideals, but you never follow them. liar. hypocrite. stop making excuses. you're just a weak piece of trash, thrown into a fantasy where everyone is nice. but, in reality, everyone's going to leave you. maybe then, you can go and crawl into a hole and die. and no matter how much, how hard you scream, no ones going to come for you. and at that point, i would've left you so long ago.
2. i hate you too. you're the most selfish person i've ever seen in my life. that's all.
3. i dream of a conversation i'm having with you, imagining what would happen, what if other people got involved, what if you were a better person than i think. everytime it's the same meaning, different words. in reality you don't give me any words, not sugar coated, but not the cold shoulder either. i dream of a conversation when i'm telling her, we both hate each other, that's the end of it. but no, no matter what you've done to me, i can't ever hate you. and it just hurts all the more knowing you do.
4. i thought, i could be friends with you. i could go along with you, stick with you, help you, and maybe you can open your heart to me. maybe we can be, friends. but you didn't. you ignored me too. so i thought, i'm not going to try, because you don't want me next to you. on the most unexpected moments though, you turned to me. but you went as fast as you came.
5. sometimes, i can't stand you. now, you remind me of the things i were before i climbed up the ladder. i used to think you were the greatest friend ever, i could count on you for anything. i don't like how this turned out, but like no.3 i can't hate you.
6. you're awesome. seriously. i, really, really, like you. even though i don't know you that well, whenever i'm with you i feel really really awesome. you make everybody else feel really really awesome too. that's what i like about you.
7. you are really awesome too. i don't know you that well too, and sometimes you don't make everyone feel awesome, and its kinda awkward when i'm with you... but yeah. ;D you're awesome.
8. you're in my list of awesome people too. you, are just so happy!!! yes you are kinda intimidating. i'm sorry for not saying hi back, because, really, i always think you're talking to the other jess!! though im not in your class this year i realllyyyyyy hope i can get to know you better. lol.
9. i, really, really like you. :D not everyone pays attention to you but i hope i'm in your good person list, because, really, i like you. you're one of the top 7Y people i, like, really really like. :):):)
10. at the beginning of last year, i admit, i hated you. i thought you were a show off. but you weren't. you were actually a kinda awesome person. until you started hanging out with her, and suddenly you were so much more intimidating. i was too scared to talk to you, because i thought you didn't want to talk to me anymore. you seemed less open. but now i think you're so much more free. more open. when you say hi to me, it makes me happy. :D:D:D
11. you were her, you were that little lame person who i thought i could get so much more closer with. you complained to me in msn, talked about little things even though they were incredibly stupid (do you remember? no, you probably don't, because i'm not in your eyes anymore). then, i thought you changed. but now i realised, you were always like this. you didn't change. only your attitude towards me, towards nearly everyone else, it changed.
12. i dont know how it *really* started but for me it was a few forced laughs. pretending it was so funny, fake smiling because it was *so embarrassing* (it wasn't). maybe you forced yourslef to laugh too, forced yourself to smile. but i don't really mind, because you don't look like you mind too. that actually worked out good i guess, because i'm closer to you now than i thought i ever would.
13. i wish i never made that mistake, i wish i was still laughing with you. but at the same time, i don't regret it, i love the way i am now. isn't that funny? oh no it isn't. i have lots of things to say to you, but i will never let you listen anyways.
14. its annoying. correction, it was annoying until i thought, no you can't change and this is what makes you, you. i accepted you, something that i didn't do earlier on. but theres more to me and you than you think.
15. if only i took the chance to get to know you better sooner, but now is not never too late.
16. i hated you, i hate you, i don't think i will ever stop hating you. you walk and strut the school like you're the coolest person ever. you're not. you act so dignified, but you're not. you're nosy, go into other peoples business because you think you can, but you can't. everyone loves you, but i don't. am i just a retarded person or only i can see this side of you?
17. you're SOOOOOO cute! omg srsly! i reallyyyyy love patting your head. until this year i never paid you any attention AT ALL because, simply i didn't know you, you didn't know me. you knew my name, i knew your name, end of story. i only looked at you on the outside, but inside you're the cutest thing EVER. hahahaha!
18. you are REALLYYYY cute tooo! i haven't patted your head much but thats ok because from now on i shall. hahahaha. you make me feel like i'm the ruler of the universe. hah. >:)
19. and you, are cute too! yes i pat your head, or more like ruffle it, and you ruffle my hair too. you're like, the next person i love who is not from my friends group. you're kinda short and kinda sporty and kinda cool and really nice though sometimes you're really evil. heh.
20. i didn't pay you much attnetion for the majority of last year, but this year i will. this year, i'll be a nice nice aquaintance of yours. >:)
21. omg i can't believe i forgot to write about you!!! i thought you were so awesome, so bubbly, optimistic and like, cool. you still are, but now you don't shine as much, but thats okay because you have other people to shine for.
22. wow i forgot you too. when our groups first 'merged', you were one of the first people to talk to me from the other group. i liked that, a lot. i still do. you're soooo cute. even though oyu're taller than me. XD
23. i forgot a lot of people! when you talk to me i can't give you an answer, but i want to. i simply, well dont know what to say and you probably think i'm a mean person who ignores you, and that is not the truth! i like you a lot because you talked to me, smiled at me and i liked you. :D
24. and you too! i said once that your smile was beautiful, it still is. you're awesome to everybody around you, me included. you act like no one's going to get to you, like you're going to be happy forever. but everybody has a sad side, and you know when you can show it.
25. i nearly forgot you, i guess i haven't seen you for a few months and i guess i kinda forgot your smile, your swimming abilities, your retarded shoes (which i never told you were retarded to your face but they are really retarded). one of my best memories were when you ran with me in the cross country. you had the ability to do so much better, run so much faster and just leave me alone but you ran with me. :) can't you come and visit nsg angie? lol!
26. oooh i forgot you too. this should probably be the last of everyone i kinda forgot! well i've heard a lot of stupid things about you, in fact when you hear them you would be like omg that is sooooo stupid. maybe you already know. haha i'm joking you don't. unless someone told you. but it's soooo incredibly stupid i doubt anyone told you. anyways. that wasn't a lie right? what you wrote. i sure hope it's not a lie, because by each passing day, it seems like one.
27. i just want to give you a giant hug ♥
28. if only you were real, because hallucinating seems really cool right now.
29. thank you for everything you guys have done. you made my primary life so much more happier, sunnier and in general so much more fun before i realised the reality of high school. i still have to return one of you the skirt, and i still have to keep the ways of 'bye' until forever. :)
30. i want to end this on a perfect number!!! lol. cant think of anything else to write. hmmm. oh excpet for the fact, the person who is no.1 knows who they are. if you think its you, it's not unless you are totally sure. anyways. yr8, i'm still living this~!




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